Some days ago I shaved my head again after a month of letting it grow and I realized that I still hold onto self-definitions that are related to my hair. For, when I shaved it I immediately had a reaction within me of ‘dislike’ because I thought that I looked better with hair, lol. So I feared what my parents or the beings I sometimes spend my time with, will say and how they might react. Though the part or point of shaving my head has nothing to do with my parents, nor with any beings separate from me because it is a decision made by myself as an expression and VISIBLE statement of ‘letting go’ of really unimportant ‘stuff’ / points within myself and how I come to value them and devote myself to the things that really require attention and valuing, which are to be a solution to the World in it’s whole and the inequality that manifests all the destruction and abuse in it.

So much unnecessary value has been placed on hair that everywhere you look you respond in judgment; judging a being according to their hair. Fucked up shit.

And this point of ‘still’ defining myself according to my hair has led to a fall on some points for I have left some ‘back doors’ open and that has fucked me now. lol.

To come back to my day, lol, I was going out with some beings but I realized that I was reluctant to participate fully in conversations; especially making eye-contact in the conversation because I was fearing what they might think about my shaved head and to safeguard myself from finding out and or ‘coming to know’ of some judgments they might have about me and save me from the emotional reactions I might have if I find out – I, out of that fear, decided to not make eye-contact.

So definitely there are still points of reactions that I fear to have towards another’s judgments of me. I’ve applied the forgiveness and written about it extensively before – though the main-point is to ACTUALLY LIVE that self-forgiveness and realizations that I’ve had in the process of forgiveness and writing myself to freedom about that or those points. The ACTUAL PHYSICAL ‘NOT PARTICIPATING’ in the points is what is needed to be walked or the points will always ‘drag me down’ through my own acceptance and allowance because I still accept and allow myself to participate in and follow the thoughts within a reaction to a particular point.

At this point I’d like to mention and refer you to a great article about a perspective of the Mind’s Design and how we are keeping ourselves in the same cycles of particular experiences by accepting and allowing ourselves to participate within the same pattern of thoughts about particular points that we exist as and face during our life; and how we are able to ‘break free’ from our mind-programming through simple applications of tools like ‘Writing’ and ‘Breathing’: Write yourself to freedom with me the pen and with the computer

So, we were going to eat something at a bar / restaurant and I was very shy because there were many beings that I feared might have a reaction towards me related to my shaved head. I see that when I define myself as something and ‘hold onto that definitions’ and belief as though it is real – I become dysfunctional within my reality, like a robot that runs out of fuel, whose engine fails, lol. So – what I realize is that I have to clear myself from all self-definitions and self-beliefs about anything of myself in-order to be fully functional within my reality / world. And the corrective-application and walking of the correction is a process in REAL-TIME where I face the point of difficulty; the point of discomfort AND IN THAT MOMENT of experiencing / facing that point of discomfort make the DECISION to WALK-THROUGH it in and as self-applied SELF-CORRECTION through BREATHING through the point and not accepting and allowing myself to ‘follow’ and/or participate in the point that I’m facing, the point that has controlled me throughout my life and actually take my power back through taking self-responsibility and not accepting and allowing myself to ‘give in’ / participate in the point; in the thoughts that come-up related to that point like I did before but actually stand as a ‘SELF-LIVING’ ‘point’; where I LIVE = I DIRECT instead of the mind.

So, I will not correct a point through ‘coming back to the point’ to apply self-forgiveness again and again about it. The correction does not work in this way ! It is to LIVE – PHYSICALLY LIVE / APPLY and BE the point of change / correction myself – even in the ‘darkest’ and ‘most difficult’ moments in my life and PERSIST as SELF-LIVING; persist as the WILL of LIFE and LIVE / DIRECT ME instead of being directed through points and the mind.

So, what I’m trying to convey is that self-forgiveness or writing just becomes useless at some point because it is not the self-forgiveness itself that changes you – it is YOU YOURSELF that change YOU YOURSELF through PHYSICALLY APPLYING the realizations and ‘corrective methods’ that you had and had found / dscovered in the process of self-forgiving and / or writing. The PHYSICAL APPLICATION of SELF is the key ! Not the forgiveness or writing alone.

I’ll end this post by leaving you with a statement of Jack, that he once made within one of his articles called Jack – War, murder and rape exposed

“You may forgive yourself until the cows come home, but unless you take a stand and take action as to where systems are concerned – I don’t think we’ll survive this world.”

From this moment on – I do no longer accept and allow myself to think about doing self forgiveness and / or writing myself to freedom and / or any other required self-application instead of simply just doing it and I just do it.

I understand that if I think about doing self forgiveness or any other required self honest self application that I will end up in not doing it and I understand that this application is in a way a method through which I try to postpone and find a point of excuse and valid excuse for why I do not have to apply myself. Within that understanding I stop thinking and / or ‘approaching’ self forgiveness, writing myself to freedom and / or any other required self honest self application from thoughts and simply allow and accept myself to act and just do it.

I understand that there are in fact no valid excuses for the refusal and resistance to / towards applying self forgiveness, writing myself to freedom and / or any other required self honest self application and that all excuses are always self-dishonest. And within that I stop and do not accept and allow myself to search / look for apparently ‘valid’ excuses to not apply self forgiveness etc and do not waste any further time and just do the required / necessary self-applications.

I do not accept and allow myself to believe that I am obliged to Bernard or Sunette or anyone or anything else / separate from me – to do this process ‘for’ and apply self-forgiveness etc. ‘for’ – for I understand that ‘doing things’ from the belief of being obliged to do it ‘for’ someone or something is self-dishonest and reflects that I just don’t really want to do this process / an application for key within self-honesty. And in that I accept and allow myself to walk this process and apply myself within this process fir myself alone in the understanding that I am walking this process for myself as life as fir all as equal as one in establishing / manifesting who I / we really are as life and the understanding that each have to walk and individual process of self-realization as life as equality to establish the ultimate objective of world / universal equality where life meets life.

I do not accept and allow myself to apply self forgiveness / walk this process in general based on the starting point to ‘prove’ to someone that I can do it and or to ‘prove’ someone wrong and show them that I can do it. I understand that this process is not about ‘them’ – is not about others separate from self but ‘it’ is for self alone as individual to be walked – as self honesty is a process that each one walks alone for themselves. Within that I accept and allow myself to apply myself within process from the starting point of self as life as becoming totally self honest and manifesting myself as life as equality as oneness as someone that supports life as I understand that this is the individuals singular step towards world / universal equality wherein all individual beings walking this process are a singular step in the ‘walking up’ to the ‘point’ of established / manifested equality within this world / the universe.

I do not accept and allow myself to distrust me within the point of self honest as I understand that self-distrust paves the road to depression which leads to ‘falling’ and I do not accept and allow myself to fall deliberately any longer. I accept and allow myself to trust myself and build self-trust within myself through constant / consistent self-honest self-application.

I understand that I am self-application.

I understand that I am self-honesty.

I understand that I am life.

I understand that I am equality and oneness.

I understand that I am self-corrective application.

Whenever I realize that I am thinking about / ‘thinking twice’ about applying self-forgiveness and / or any other required self honest self-application instead of simply being self-honest and acting / doing it – I stop and take a deep breath, ‘bring myself to here’ and be self-honest and do the necessary self-application.

I understand that I am breath.

I understand that I am self-trust.

I understand that I am self-responsibility.

I understand that I am not separate from anyone or anything.

I understand that I am consistency.

I understand that I am physical.

I understand that I am self-direction.

I understand that I am self-will.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think about if I should apply self forgiveness, write myself to freedom and/or any other necessary self-application instead of just doing it.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to just do it.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to just apply self forgiveness – to just write myself to freedom – to just apply myself as the momentary necessary self-application instead of thinking about doing it – which in the end ends up in not doing it.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that the more I think about doing the things that I know I should do – the more I ‘make room’ for the creation of apparently reasonable/valid excuses and ways for not having to do it in the very moment.

Within that I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within the belief and idea that I am obliged and / or ‘have to’ prove to someone or something outside myself that I am not as fucked as it seemed and that I am indeed capable of placing myself as an effective and self-honest equality participant within process.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I have to proof to Bernard and Sunette that ‘I can do it’ = that I can stand up again from the pit I have fallen in.

I forgive myself within that that I have accepted and allowed myself to base my self-application – my actions of application of self forgiveness and writing myself to freedom – on the starting point to ‘prove’ and ‘show’ ‘them’ = others – that ‘I can do it’ = that I can be self-honest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to base my self-application as the actions of self forgiveness and writing myself to freedom – on the starting point of and as ‘I’ll show them’ – ‘show’ / ‘prove’ to ‘them’ that ‘I can do it’ = that I can be self-honest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to base my starting point of my self-application as my actions of self forgiveness and writing – onto the point to ‘give it to them’ – ‘show’ and ‘prove’ them wrong on the point that I myself believe that they believe about me – which is that ‘I cannot do it’ = that I simply cannot be self honest no matter how hard I try or wish for to be.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to base my self-applications as all actions of self forgiveness and writing – on the starting point of gloating, through wanting to ‘give it to ‘them” = show ‘them’ that they are wrong and I am right because ‘I can do it’ = I can be self honest – which I myself believe that ‘they’ believe about me that I can / will never be self honest.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that if I have to ‘convince’ / ‘prove’ / show to someone or something that ‘I can do it’ – that I can be self honest – that this indicates that I myself am not really convinced about myself and do not really trust myself that ‘I can do it’ – so in fact want to ‘prove’ to myself that I am wrong and that I can be self honest – that ‘I can do it’ – but separate myself from myself as this point through projecting the point onto someone or something outside myself within the self created belief that I want to ‘give it to them’ while I want to ‘give it to myself’ – lol.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only think about programming the whole time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to constantly look for new information to add to my collection of information.

I forgve myself that have accepted and allowed myself to fear to miss a skill if I do not review and/or study every piece of information available on a specific subject.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to miss information.

I forgive myself that I have accetped and allowed myself to define myself according to and as information.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as an avid and vivid programmer.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I have to know everything about every subject, from Software programming to Image and Videp Processing to Web Design because I want to be special.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to out of the desire to be seen and labeld as special – be on the quest to learn everything, from software programming, to image and video processing to web design.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I am special if I have skills in all areas from software programming to image and video processing to web design.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire and want to acquire a skill before someone else acquires it so that I can get all the compliments and “wows” from people before someone else gets it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compete wth people in all areas of life.

I forgive myself that I have not aaccepted and allowed myself to realize that competing with everyone and all things the whole time is not fun and really stressful.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that compettion creates jealousy which has the final potention to turn into abuse of another.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exst in competition with people in all areas of life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be seen as special by people.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be ”the’ man’.

I forgive myself that have accepted and allowed myself to grudge other people to be good at something and get compliments from others.

i forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to grudge other people to be good at somethng, get compliments and attention because of being greedy with attention and wanting it all for me alone.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be greedy with attention – wanting and desiring to get the full attention from all people the whole time, getting angry, frustrated and jealous if someone gets more then me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to turn angry, frustrated and jealous if someone gets more attenton then me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in the harmful and abusive mode of / as jealousy.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that I am commiting a crime against life itself when I grudge people to get attention from others and be good / better at things then me because I am within that point actually wishing for the other person to be harmed / degraded / removed in a way so that I can take their place.

Within that I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to allow jealous thoughts to exist within me.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to think jealous and abusive thoughts.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to stop thinking jealous and abusive thoughts.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to thnk and believe that i cannot stop thinking jealous and abusive thoughts instead of realzing that have aaccepted and allowed the very creation and storage of these thoughts throughout time – up to know – and therefor can in fact stop them because they exist IN ME after all, so therefor I got ‘full direction’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I sound silly when I state forgiveness on thinking itself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be off-topic – to get off the track on the points of required self-forgiveness / self-correction.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to and as programming.

I forgive myself that I have accepted nd allowed myself to base my whole day-cycle on programming.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to waste the whole day on programming instead of applying myself within process.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be addicted to programming.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel special because of being able to program.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel special because of understanding computers and their underlying principles quite well because I thnk and believe that only few special beings are able to comprehend these apparently ‘complex’ topics / subjects.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize the self-honest common-sense point that if I can comprehend computers, their underlying principles and also software-development / programming principles – then everyone can also do so and I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that I am therefor not special for understanding these points / subjects / topics because I have learned / come to comprehend these only through extensive research, thorough cross-referencing of the information between multiple ‘professional’ information sources and a lengthy time of ‘trial and errors’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a feeling of ‘specialness’ and ‘happiness’ based on the feeling, thought and self-definition of ‘being special’.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that I really do not need to know every little bit of information about every single topic.

Within that I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to stick to the points that are essential and required at the moment only.

I forgve myself that i have not accepted and allowed myself to enjoy programming and learning /acquiring new skills instead of tunring it into a compettion.

I do no longer accept and allow myself to turn ‘learning something’ into a competition. I understand that competition eventually leads to abuse and I do not accept and allow myself to abuse life in any of its forms.

I do no longer accept and allow myself to be on the quest of ultimate knowledge. I understand that knowledge alone is useless and that Ii do really not need / require to acquire skill in really all aspects.

I do not longer accept and allow myself to compete with other people. I understand that competition based on a point of desire to be ‘more then’ which in itself is based on a point of ‘lack’ of self-acceptance. I accept myself and I realize / understand I do not have to be the ‘best’.

I do no longer accept and allow myself to grudge other people / beings for getting more attention or doing things better then me or whatever else as I understand that this in itself is a crime against life and implies abuse / ‘death’ of another in order to ‘take their place’.

I do no longer accept and allow myself to define myself based on programming an / or based on my skills and knowledge as I understand that everyone can acquire the same skills another acquires through research, self-will and self-application.

I do no longer accept and allow myself to define, see and think of myself as being special because of my ACQUIRED understanding of computers and their underlying principles and inner workings because I understand that these are indeed ‘ACQUIRED skills’ – which implies that EVERYONE can ACQUIRE them if self-willed to.

I do not accept and allow myself to abuse myself or another through the mind, through thinking abusve of others through for example competition and jealousy. I understand that I have to stop these things as myself and so I do here as breath.

I understand that I am NOT special because of tha skill to program.

I understand that I am NOT special because of certain knowledge or understanding.

I understand that such things as ‘specialness’ and / or ‘being special’ do NOT exist as an ACTUAL PHYSICAL FACT but just as the creation of the individual within the desire to be more then who the individual is based on the ‘lack’ of self-acceptance.

I understand that I am as one as equal as all life in all it’s forms and existences.

I understand that I am equal and one in potential as all other life in all it’s forms and existences.

I understand that I have to self-will myself to be an equal as life and that that point will not manifest on it’s own but only through MY as each one elses ‘hand’ / self-application and self-willed ‘walk’ to the point of manifestation of the re-birthing process of self as life and the manifestation of universal equality.

I understand that I am self-willed life.

i understand that I am an self-willed equal.

I understand that I am breath.

I understand that ‘I am you’ and ‘you are me’.

I understand that ‘we are one and the same’ in essence as life.

I understand that I have deceide about my destiny.

I understand that I am HERE.

I am here.

The point is still the one of entertainment – particularly the resistance towards voluntarily ‘giving up’ entertainment and commiting myself solely to self-honesty / ‘doing what is best for all‘.

Since the last forgiveness on these points, I have fallen yet again.

I’m really frustrated because of this shit. Screaming and yelling at my mother / family when finally confronting the points of my self-dshonesty because I exactly know that I’ve not been self-honest in the previous writings / self-forgiveness – otherwise I would not have fallen yet again – blaming everyone and everything for my ”internal’ mess’.

Shit..

Why do I watch TV ?

Because I don’t want to work on me. I do not want to be self-honest.

Why do I not want to be self-honest?

Because I do not want to give up my self-created comfort.

Why do I ‘not want’ / fear to lose my comfort ?

Because I will not feel good, peaceful, happy as I do when watching TV / doing the things I like or have come to define as ‘like it’.

So I actually fear WORK – having to perform actual WORK – actual PHYSICAL WORK.

The bullshit point about laziness is that it never ends until I myself ‘draw a line’ and stop myself as laziness.

And then the ‘but’ arguments for not doing what needs to be done:

‘But I like watching TV’, ‘But why do I have to be self-honest’, ‘But I will do it later’ but bla, but bla, but bla.

Ever noticed that ‘but(t)s’ only produce shit ?

And the shit produced from the ‘but(t)’ has a disguisting stench of dishonesty, yet you keep inhaling / ‘living with’ it instead of cleaning up the mess, adding always more shit from your ‘but(t)’ and before you know it you are in ‘deep shit’.

I am in ‘deep shit’ now and whether it will be extremely difficult to ‘get out’ of it or not – I do not know and I will not jump to conclusions and say that it will or won’t be.

I will see as I go – but the final point has been reached. I can no more take the shit from my ‘but(t)’.

I know that the laziness and procrastination will NEVER end by itself. Like always it is SELF that has to ‘make the move’ and ‘stop’.

So I make the move and I STOP !!

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to struggle with the point of ‘giving up’ tv and entertainment in place of self-movement and self-application.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to prioritize tv and entertainment more then self-movement / self-application.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and alliwed myself to dislike self-movement and self-application.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to dislike self-honesty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and alliwed myself to feel depressed in face of my truth which is my self-dishonesties.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel so lost and lonely when confronted with my problems / self-dishonesty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel so lost when confronted with my self-dishonesty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel so hopeless and helpless when confronted with my self-dishonesty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I am hopeless and/or helpless in the face of my self-dishonesty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rubbish myself in the face of my self-dishonesties by/through accepting and allowing myself to feel hopeless, helpless, desperate, lonely and lost on relation to my existence / my very being.

I forgive myselr that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that I actually fear to stand face to face with my actual self as self-dishonesties because I fear that I stand no chance in self-betterment/self-correction.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear standing face to face with myself as all my self-dishonesties and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hinder myself from self-correcting myself as my self-dishonest existence / beingness by/through accepting and allowing myself to be intimidated by the fear that comes up in face of the huge ‘mountain’ of self-dishonesties that I have become.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel / be intimidated in face of the huge ‘mountain’ of self-dishonesties instead of accepting and allowing myself to actually start facing one single point and forgive / correct it and move then to the next one instead of ‘running away’ immediatly when confronted with the huge ‘self-dishonesty ‘mountain”.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that if I alway ‘run away’ immediatly when facing difficulties within facing my self-dishonesties – without actually accepting and allowing myself to ‘take on’ a point and forgive / correct it – that I will always be trapped in an infinite cycle of self-defeat.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in self-defeat by accepting and allowing myself to ‘run away’ from facing myself as my self-dishonesties.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that I need to be/vecome self-honest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and alliwed myself to value breath, self-forgiveness and writing more then self-honesty without realizing that self-honesty is the foundation and most important point / ‘attribute’ within the process of self-purification / self-realization / self-actualization / self-creation / self-manifestation.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that without self-honesty / being self-honest – self-forgiveness, writing etc. is useless / ineffectve and will not ‘bear’ the actual ‘desired’ / ‘wanted’ results.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to occupy my time with self-forgiveness and self-support writing as a means to transcend my tv / entertainment addiction.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that my inability to stop my addiction proves the non-existence of self-will.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have no self-will to stop my addictions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be cobtrolled and directed by self-formed addictions and habbits.

I forgive kyself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abdicate my will.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as a energetic zombie with no self-will – beng cobtrolled and directed by / through energetic impulses / stimulus.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to defeat myself by / through afcepting and allowing myself to define myself as ‘self-will-LESS’.

I forgive myself thqt I have accepted ajd alliwed myself to think and believe that my will is gone / lost forever withrout realizing that it us MY will – it is SELF-will and that I can create / develop it anytime and anywhere again – I just have to DO / LIVE it DELIBERATLY.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to becone self-will.

I forgive myself that I have acfepted and allowed myself to walk this process for another / others with the objective to impress others with my walk.

I forgive kyself that I have accepted and allowed myself to apply self-forgiveness for others / from a seoerate startingpoint within the objective to impress others.

I forgve myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that that is self-dishonest.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to walk this process and apply myself for MYSELF as Equality and Oneness as Life only and not to impress someone or something.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exiet in need to impress others through bizzare ways like ‘walking process’ or ‘applying self-forgiveness’ for others and I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that that is a means to buy love / acceptance from others because I apparently do not love / accept myself for whatever IDEA and BELIEF reason.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to focus more on my self-honesty instead of just being concerned with self-forgiveness, writing and breathing.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to develop real self-honesty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and alliwed myself to expect myself to be a specific someone / something in the next moment instead of simply being here as the unpredictabiluty of breath / moment / life.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that I exist in self-expectation of / as ‘who’ and ‘what’ I must be exactly in the next moment because I lack the self-trust that I will be self-honest in evety moment of breath and do always what is best for all no matter what.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in lack of self-trust create expectations for myself of ‘who’ abd ‘what’ I must be and do in the next moment of breath – through that trying to create a form of trust that I can rely on to make sure I will be self-honest and act in the interest of equality and oneness as what is best for all life always.

I forgive myself that I have not acfepted and allowed myself to trust myself in every HERE moment to be self-honest and do what is best for all life always because of ideas and beliefs that I will never be trustable because of past-moments and experiences where I have fallen in my stance.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept and allow my past as moments of ‘falls’ in my stance to determine and shape who I am here in every NEW moment of potential ‘actual living’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe applying self-forgiveness is all there it to it.

I forgive mysel that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that applying self-forgiveness alone will have the effect of changing myself and my life / self-experience within this world.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that self-forgiveness if not actually lived is worthless.

I forgive myeelf that I have accepted and allowed myself to define self-forgvebess based on my assumptions, ideas, wishes and desires of how and what I’d like self-forgiveness to be.

I forive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that I am trapping myself within the past through recycling / revisiting past experiences within / through my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deter myself from moving forward effectively within my self-purification process by/through remaining within trusted/known points that I’ve already gone through and applyied self-forgiveness on – just so that I do not have to push myself withon the self-birthing process because it’s hard/difficult from time to time.

I forive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abuse myself through/by not allowing myself to move effectively within my re-birthing process.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deviate from the truth that I am self-dishonest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed mywelf to wish and within that wish pretend to be self-honest, so that I can create a feeling/ energy /experience of/as ‘feeling good’ because of apparently being ‘self honest’ and so be able to live better with myself and ‘sleep better’ at night.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to totally delude myself by pretending to be ‘self honest’ so I can feel good and be able to live better with myself and sleep better at night.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that through deluding myself by pretending to be self honest – I will not succeed in removing the fact of being self-dishonest from myself / my world / my existence.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that if I do not address my problems then I will nevergive myself the chance / opportunity to correct / remove them from myself / my life / existence.

Within that I forgve myself that I have not accepted and allowed myseof to address my problems and by doing so accept and allow and give myself the chance / opportunity to transcend / remove / correct ‘them’ and re-create myself in my awareness image and likeness instead of living-out preprogrammed designs, structures and ‘life paths’.

—–

I forgive myself that I have acfepted and allowed myself to postpone the application of self-forgiveness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I do no more know how to write about my self-experiences.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and construct the idea that I’m unable to write about my experiences.

Alright then, since I have started within this very process I have always had a certain difficulty and antipathy towards applying self-forgiveness and writing about my self-experiences in the process of correcting myself. For a certain time span I was effective and consistent in moving myself to apply myself – particulary through self-forgiveness and writing myself to freedom – but then there were these moments in which I just fell within my stance / application for quite long time spans before ‘comming back’.

Those wavering moment are not acceptable because I can not be trusted in my stance if I fall and stay withon the fall instead of actually moving myself / picking myself up and standing up again and simply continue with my self-application.

But I am being to hasty here – judging me for the fall instead of loking at the point thoroughly and finding out why those moments manifest at all – so that I can correct myself next time I find myself in the same or similar situation.

So why do these moments, wherin I fall manifest ?

Taking / Bringing the past moments here and looking at possible trigger points for these moments / falls I see the point of judgement. I’m having high expectations of myself as who and what I must be and do exactly in every moment of breath and when I do not meet my self-expectations I judge myself to harshly and this harsh judgemebt eventually leads to a point of desperation and depression – in turn creating a desire to give up which I eventually take hold of and give up on myself. This is the point of my fall. And it’s a fucking difficult time to stand up from that fall again. I mean – in the beginning it was quick to get up again but the more often I fall on the same point(s) the more difficult it becomes to get up again next time.

Now – why do I have these high expectations of / about myself ? It’s composed of multiple points.

The desire to be better then others, the belief that I need to be a certain type / expression / way in order to be accepted by others, the fear of being rejected from society / others if I do not exist as the expectation I have created about myself based on the idea of who I apparently must be / exist as within society.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have high expectations of / about myself instead of being here as unpredictability within and as every moment of breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself harshly if / when I do not ‘meet up’ to my high self-expectations.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that harsh self-judgement will eventually lead to desperation and depression which willmeventually lead to the creation of a point of desire to give up and eventually one will give up and fall because the self-judgement just becomes to much to bare and one has to ‘get rid’ of it in a way and this way manifests in the point of a ‘falling’ within ones process because one is approachong the ‘false’ way within this process which is a ‘way’ based on self-judgement instead of actualmand unconditional self-support.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that self-judgement is also a ‘technique’ to make oneself feel better about oneself through projecting an apparent ‘care’ about something – likemsaying ‘look at me – I actually care about ‘this’ and ‘that’ because I do not likemmyself having done ‘this’ and ‘that” – making oneslef deliberatsly / tactically ‘down’ in order to ‘boost’ oneself ‘up’ as ego.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that self-judgement is in a way a technique utulized with the objective to try to create a certain ‘I am a good guy/person/being/individual’ image to project onto the ‘outside world’ and in the long run make oneself feel better about oneself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that judgement and self-judgement is ‘the’ way to go within this process instead of realizing based on my own experiences that it is clearly not effective in process.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I need to harshly and critically judge myself in order to be highly effective within my process.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that it is highly ineffective, as I have experienced first hand, to harshly and critically judge myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become the very point of judgement – walking, eating, shitting and breathing judgement and self-judgement constantly.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear writting blog entries.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that writing blogs is unimportant and therefor accept and allow myself to think and believe that I don’t have to write blogs.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I do not have to write blogs.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to label ‘writing blogs’ as being ‘unimportant’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to label ‘writing’ in general as being ‘unimportant’.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to instead realize how writing has specificqlly assisted and supported me within my process and that it in fact is important.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I’ll need/have to write some ‘special’ type of blogs/blog entries.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I do not know how to write blogs anymore because I’ve not done it for a long time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed mYself to think and believe that my self forgiveness on the points that I apply it is rediculous and that I need to apply it on some ‘greater’ / ‘more ‘important” subjects/points.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself based on the points I apply self forgiveness on.

I forgive myself that I have noz accepted and allowed myself to be unconditional within the self forgiveness I apply.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think to much about the blog entry.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that the blog entry is an obligation instead of realizing that it is a point of respect – respect towards life – in form of ‘assisting and aupporting life’ through blogging about my inner experiences and the realizations that unfold within / through walking the Desteni pricess – the process of ‘Equality and Oneness’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to procrastinate.

I forgive myself that I have acfepted and allowed myself to become the very manifestation of procrastination.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become the very point and manifestation of laziness.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that it will be so hard to move myself out of the state of procrastination and laziness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to oppose myself from applying self forgiveness and writing myself to freedom.

I forgive myself that I have acfepted and allowed myself to exlerience difficulty in the process of moving myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I will not be able to ”restore’ myself’ ‘back’ to a firm and sound stand of life as equality and oneness as ‘what is best for all’.

I forgive myelf that I have acfepted and allowed myself to experience it as ‘a ‘pain in the ass” to ‘write’ again.

I forgive myself that I have acfepted and allowed myself to experience it as ‘a ‘pain in the ass” to ‘apply’ myself and ‘move’ myself.

I forgive myself that I have acfelted and allowed myself to define myself as ‘stagnant’.

I forguve myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as ‘stuck’.

I forgive myself that I have acfepted and allowed myself to define myself as ‘inmoveavke’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist applying self forgiveness.

I forgive myself that I have accepzed and allowed myself to resist writing myself to freedom.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that it is kinda stupid to resist doing sonethib that is obviously of greatest support for me / my life / life in general – such as ‘writing myself to freedom’ and/or ‘applying/doing self-forgiveness’ – as it is in fact providing for me a platform/foundation from which I can effectively script and ‘build’ myself from scratch to a ‘better human/being’ which does what is best for ALL life equally as one.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I have lost me to much into self-dishonesties to ever be able to stand up from it and correct me / my life / my existence.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myselt to realize that it is me myself who defones and ‘sets’ these ‘rules’ based of fears and desires.

I forgive myself that I have not acfepted and allowed myself to be gratful for having the opportunity to apply a self-support and self-assistance tool which helps on deconstructing and stopping myself as the life and experience that I have lived and experienced myself up to now and which hepos in re-constructing myself in a way that resonates / represents a manifested ‘betterment’ of myself as a human / being – which considers ALL life equally as one and does ‘what is best for all’ instead of being just preoccupied and concerned with his own individual desire, wishes, hopes and dreams.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that the ‘re-construction’ phase of myself be difficult.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear ‘difficulty’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I find this ‘standing up and ‘stopping my self-dishonesty bullshit’ diffiult because I resist / do nit want to give up my desired space for entertainment and comfort.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist / do not want to give up / let go if my desured space / time for entertainment and comfort instead of realizing that I claim for my ‘right’ for entertainment and comfort while millions suffer on this earth when there is something that I can do about it if I were not to waste the daily time I have on self-interested desires for entertainment and comfort.

However I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that judging myself will not sort out myself and/or the world and within that I forgive myself that I have not accepted and alliwed myself to realize that it might in fact jzst prolong my process because I will put myself through judgment slowly but surly into a state of giving up egentually because I’ve been to ‘harsh’ onto myself instead of being gentle – yet extremly disciplined and intolerant within the aspect of allowing to fuck with myself and/or life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be addicted to entertainment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be addicted to TV.

I forgive myself that I have acfepted and allowed myself to be addicted to movies.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be addicted to series.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to thonk and believe that I cannot stop the addiction to movies, series and TV in general.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that I am the one who decides wheter I am able to stop something within myself or not and not some ’3rd party’ point.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try to distract myself from writing, applying self-forgiveness and ‘facing myself’.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to discipline myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel lost.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as lost without the ability/capacity to ‘stand up’ to/from my self-created turmoil and be effective within this world in contributing to / supporting the establishment of a ‘new world’ of/as Equality and Oneness.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that it is I who ‘gives’ and ‘takes’ ‘my’ abilities / capacities.

Within that I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ‘give away’ / ‘take away’ my capacity / ability to ‘stand up’ to and ‘stop’ the ‘fucking of self and life’.

I forgive myself within that, that I have not accepted and allowed myself to ‘give’ myself the ability / capacity to ‘stand up’ to and ‘stop’ the ‘fucking of self and life’ through self-for-GIVE-ness.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that self-forgiveness is a tool to be really grateful for – as is ‘writing oneself to freedom’ and ‘breath’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as small.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to my physical size.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself as my physical size and I forgive myself that O have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I am how big I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I am worrthless because I am small in physical size.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I am worthless because I am not big in physical size as I wouod like to be.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel less then and snall because I think and believe that I am small in physical size.

I forgive that I have accepted and allowed mysepf to feel less self confident and be less self confident because of being small in physical size.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be small in physical size one within and through thqt create the believes and thoughtsnthat I am small which further mqnifest the feeling if/as feeling small.

Withij tzat I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed mSelf to thibk and believe that it matters whether I am small or tall.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I am less attractive because iof being small.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed mysepf to feel less attractive because of being small and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowedmmyself to accept myself as less attractive because of being small.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself according to my physical size and appearence.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I am to small for my age.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I need to be taller for my age.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself to my current physical size that I have.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed mysel to think and baleive that I cannot grow anymore.

I forgive myself that I have accepted qnd allowed myself to desire to growmtaller so I may feel greater and better abd superior then others who aremsmaller then me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be taller because I thinkmand believe that I’d be better, greater and or superior then now.

Within that I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be taller from the startingpoint of the desire to feel superior and better then others.

I forgivemmyselnthat I have accepted and allowed myself to experience fear to be worthless and less then others who are taller then me.

I forgive myselfnthat I have accepted and allowed myself tomcomparemmy physical size with others and in that in fact compare my ‘position’ of either superioritynorninferioritynwith that being.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be jealous of those who are taller then me.

I forgive myselfnthat I have accepted and aplowed mysepf to base and found the corenexistencemof a being in his physicalnsize and appearejce within which I think and beleive that the taller the being the superior and more and more powerful it is.

Within that I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept myself as less then and as less powerful because of being small.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myselfntontry to grow through the application of self forgivenessmand within thaz I forgive mysel that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize tzat that is self dishobest self forgiveness application based on self interest instead of equalitymand oneness as what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use/utulize self forgiveness for the realization and manifestation of my own self interest/desires, wants and wishes.

I firgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use and apply self forgiveness to accomplish mymown desires, wants and wishes instead of applying it to totally foundationally transform myselfnfrom selfmdishonest to self honesty to exist in respect of all life in and as equality and oneness as what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to struggle with the feelings of discomfort becausenof being small because I do not want to be small – because I so deeply desire to be tall.

I firgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hang onto the desire to be tall and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to let go of and give up on that desire because I so deeply want it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myselfnto so deeply desire it to be tall because I truly think and believetzat I would fit in better and be morenacceptable in this world.

I forgive myselfnthat I have acceptedmand allowed myself to thinkmand believe that I am less acceptable within this world because of being small.

I forgive myself that I have accepted qnd allowed myself to afcept my fate of being small.

I forgive myself that I have qccepted and allowed myself to within hopelessness and helplessness accept my fate of being small.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within desperation accept my apparent fate of being small.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to pity myself for being small.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take being small as an offense.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take it as an offense if someone points to me sqying that I am samll.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel offended when someine says that I am small.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel offended when someone says that he/she is bigger then me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take it personally when someine says that I am small and or he/she is bigger then me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to value ‘being tall’, thinking and believing that it’s something special.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that it’ something special to be tall.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I would be spe iap if I were to be tall.

I forgive mysel that I hqve accepted and allowed myeel to be tall bcause I want to be special.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire and want to be special through being tall.

I forgive myself that I havemnot accepted and allowed myself to realize that noone is special just because of showing tall physical size.

I forgive myself that I havemnot accepted and allowed myself to realize that specialness and being special only exist as a self-belief and desire based self-definition within the individual mind of man.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that specialness has no place in the universe of/as guided by the principle of life as equalitymand oneness because here only EQUALITY is acceptable.

I forgive myself that I have acceptedmand allowed myself to constantly think about
Mymphysicalnsize and how I look.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept constant cycles and loops of the same thoughtsnthat are fixedmon thinking about how tall I am and how I look because of my size
And within that I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deliberatly participate in same thought cycles and/as thought-pattern and reinvoke the same timeloops.

I forgivemmyself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deceide that my physical size matters instead of realizing that it in fact does not.

Within that I forgive myself that I have acceptedmand allowed myself to live in a self belief world/fantasy world.

Self Writing:

I am obsessed with the desire to be tall. The whole day I only have my physical size on my mind and I am constantly trying to act as if I am tall. The whole day I compare my physical size with others and within that try to reinforce myself to appear/be taller and if I am
Not then I feel shit, less then.

But why does it even matter how big I am or doesmit not matterbat all?

In fact it does NOT matter, it just matters to me individually because I mademit so, I deceidednit thisnway and therefor it matters to ME.
I believemand have the idea that I wouldnaccomplish moremin this world if I were taller. That I would gain more respect from others if I were tall.
Further I beliece that I would be more popular in the female-world if I would possess and resonate a tall physical appearence. I actually blame my physical size for not hqving had any success yet in the female world — at attracting a girl and going into a relationship with one.

So another motivation fir the desire to be tallernis to finally , hopefully become more popular in the female world and get to know a real girl and go into a real relationship with her with sex and love and the whole package.

Wenn ich mich in der Fensterreflektion betrachte glaube ich immer sofort, dass ich so extrem klein bin. Ich kann so einer Reflexion aber nicht trauen weil jede abhaengig ist von der Art des Spiegels/reflektors in dem ich mich betrachte und somit jedes untershiedliche Ergebnisse liefert basierend auf dem Aufbau und dem Matrial des Reflektors, denn es gibt ja auch Spiegel die einen voellig verzehrt oder breit, lang, zusammengrdrueck usw aussehen lassen und deswegen kann man der Reflexion eines Reflektors nicht Glauben schenken.
Doch alles in allem macht es auch nichts wenn/falls ich klein bin, fuck it.

Ich vergebe mir, dass ich
Mirmerlaubt habe zu versuchen mir einzureden, dass ich nichtnklein bin.

Ich vergebe mir, dass ichmmir erlaubt habe zu versuchen groeser zu erscheinen als ich in Wirklichkeit bin.

Ich vergebe mir, dass ich mir erlaubt habe mich kleiner zu fuehlen und zu sehen als ich es in Wirklichkeit bin.

Ich vergebe mir, dass ich mir erlaubt habe zu glauben und zu denken ich sei minder aufgrund meiner Groese.

Ich vergebemmir, dass ichmmirmerlaubt habe den Gedanken die sagen ich sei klein und ich muesse wachsen um in der Welt und bei anderen besser anzukommen und effektiver in der Beziehungsentwicklujg mit meinen Mitmenschen zu sein, Glauben und Aufmerksamkeit zu schenken.

Ich vergebe mir, dass ich mir erlaubt habe mich den Gedanken und Glaubenssaetzen, die mir versuchen weis zu machen ich sei klein und aufgrund dessen minder und habe deswegen weniger Erfolgspotential in der Entwicklung von Beziehungen mit meinen Mitmenschen, zu unterwerfen und ‘mein Schicksal’ zu akzeptieren.

Ich vergebemmir, dass ich mir erlaubt habe meine Groese als mein Pech und zu akzeptierendes Schicksal zu sehen und zu definieren.

Ich vergebe mir, dass ich mir akzeptiertnund erlaubt habe zu glauben und zu denken ich muesse, das Gefuehl klein und dewegen minder sein, akzeptieren und lebenslang mit ihm leben weil ich nichts dagegen tun kann.

Ich vergebe mir, dass ich mir erlaubt habe zu glauben und zu denken ich koenne nichts gegen das Gefuehl klein und deswegen minder zu sein, tun und, dass die einzige Wahl die ich habe ist es zu akzeptieren und lebenslang mit ihm zu leben und ihm zu gewaehren mir das Leben Erlebnissmaesig zur Hoelle zu machen.

Ich vergebe mir, dass ich mir erlaubt habe dem Gefuehl/Gefuehlen, klein und deswegen minder zu sein, zu gewaehren/erlauben ueber mich und mein Leben zu dominieren anstatt selbst das leitende Prinzip zu sein.

Ich vergebemmir, dass ich mir nicht erlaubt habe zu realizieren, dass dieses Gefuehl niemals enden wird solange ich es immer wieder wiederbelebe indem ich staendig daran denke und in den Gedanken, wie klein und minder und benachteiligt ich doch deshalb bin, partizipiere.

Somitnvergebe ich mir, dass ich mirmnichtnerlaubt habe zu realizieren, dass die Loesujg fuer dieses Problem eindeutig ist wie schon im obigen Selbstvergebungsstatement erklaert.

Mit dem vergebe ich mir, dass ich mir erlaubt habe in den Gedanken, wie klein und minder und benachteiligt deswegen ich doch bin, zu partizipieren und dadurch staendig und konstant das Gefuehl, klein, minder und benachteiligt deswegen zu sein, wieder zu beleben.

Ich vergebe mir, dass ich mir erlaubt habe mich aufgrund meiner Groese benachteiligt zu fuehlen.

Ich vergebe mir, dass ich mir erlaubt habemmich inder Frauenwelt benachteiligt zu fuehlen weil ich so klein bin.

Ich vergebemmir, dass ich mir erlaubt habe mich aufgrund keiner koerperlichen Groese in der Frauenwelt benachteiligt zu fuehlen.

Ich vergebemmir, dass ich mir erlaubt habe den Glaubenssatz, dass ich aufgrund meiner koerperlichen Groese benachteiligt undmminder sei, zu vertreten anstatt zu realizieren, dass es nichts mehr oder weniger als ein Glaubenssatz ist/bleibt.

Ich stoppe !!

Selfkorrektierende Statements:

Ich akzeptiere und erlaube es mir nicht mich klein und aufgrund dessen minder und benachteilight zu sehen/betrachten und zu verurteilen, kategorisieren und definieren.

Bis hierher und nicht weiter: Ich akzeptiere und erlaube es mir niht in einer Scheinwelt aus Angst zu leben, in der ich eine total falsche und verdreht Selbstansicht habe, die nihtsmmitnder wahren physischen Tatsachen zu tun hat.

Bis hierher und nicht weiter: Ich akzeptiere und erlaube es mir nicht mich als klein undmminder und benachteiligt zu akzeptieren und indem akzeptiere und erlaube ich es mir nicht mich klein, minder und benachteiligt deswegen zu fuehlen.

Bis hierher und nicht weiter: Ich akzeptiere und erlaube mir nicht mich als klein, minder und benachteiligt deswegen zu benehmen als ob es der Tatsache entspricht.

Bis hierher und nicht weiter: Ich akzeptiere und erlaubemmir nicht in die Gedanken, dass ich klein, minder und benachteilight deswegen sei, zu partizipieren und dadurch die Gefuehle, klein, minder und benachteilight deswegen zu sein, zu kreieren und wieder-zu-kreieren.

Bis hierher und nicht weiter: Ich akzeptiere und erlaube mir nicht den Gedanken und Gefuehlen, dass ich klein, minder und benachteiligt deswegen sei, Dominanzrecht ueber mich und mein Leben zu geben/gewaehren.

Bis hierher und nicht weiter: Ich akzeptiere und erlaube mir nicht Wert auf meine/die physische Groese zu legen.

Bis hierher und nicht weiter: Ich akzeptiere und erlaube mir nicht mich mit anderen in Bezug aufm die koerperliche Groese, zu vergleichen.

Bis hierher und nicht weiter: Ich akzeptiere und erlaube mir nicht mich klein, minder und benachteiligt deswegen zu fuehlen, wenn jemand groeser ist als ich.

Bis hierher und nicht weiter: Ich akzeptiere und erlaubemmir nicht zu begehren und zu wuenschen und zu hoffen zu wachsen und koerperlich groeser zu werden.

Bis hierher und nicht weiter: Ich akzeptiere uns erlaube mir nicht zu glauben und zu denken, uch sei minder und benachteiligt wegen meiner koerperlichen Groese.

Bis hierher und nicht weiter: Ich akzeptiere und erlaubemmirmnicht an meine koerperliche Groese zu denken.

Selbststatements:

Ich bin hier. Ich bin Leben. Ich bin das Physische. Ich bin Gleichheit. Ich bin Einheit. Ich bin Selbstehrlichkeit. Ich bin Selbstvergebung. Ich bin nicht meine koerperliche Griese. Ich bin nicht Eifersucht. Ich bin nicht Neid. Ich bin Selbstverantwortlichkeit. Ich bin selbstvertrauen. Ichmbin Common Sense. Ich bin der Atem. Ich bin das selbstleitende Prinzip des Lebens. Ich bin Aufmerksamkeit. Ich bin Vertrauen. Ich bin HIER. Ich bin Selbstbewegung. Ich bin Selbstinitiative. Ich bin Selbstwille. Ich bin nicht Angst. Ich bin nicht ein Glaubenssatz. Ich bin nicht eine Scheinwelt. Ich bin Selbstkraft. Ich bin Selbstpower. Ich bin nicht minder. Ich bin nicht wertlos. Ich bin nicht aufgrund meiner koerperlichen Groese benachteiligt.

And once again back to the beauty of writing:

Continuing on the point of self direction and how to amalgamate myself with and as self direction to always exist as a/the self directive principle:

I am allowing myself to be directed and moved by energeticly experienced resistances that come up in the moment that I am about to apply self forgiveness and with that resistance multiple memories and desires of what would be more fun to do instead of self forgiveness, come up and I actually GIVE INTO the energeticly experienced resistances deliberatly because I in fact do not want to apply self forgiveness and be self honest because I want to have some fun and let others do the shit for me but the fact is that no one can do my shit for me because after all it is MY shit.

So what is the key support here for me – or – what is the solution to this problem?

Actually one can see it already directly that the problem and the solution are one. The solution is the probpem itself. The solution is to not allow myself to, in moments of energeticaly experienced resistances and desires and memories to do things thats apparently more fun, as per the defintion of the memory as an already experienced event, give into these energies but breathe, just focus on the breath and assistmmyself through writing and breathing through these moments of intense unpleasentness and stick to the points of self honesty and again: Write, write and write !
Because it is through writing that I am assisting and supporting myself to remain here constant in my application and living of self honesty and what is best for all in moments of experiejced resistances.

I want to emphasize it here again: If I do not write myself to freedom I will fall. I know it. I’ve been there already multiple times.

No more self abuse through refusing to write myself to freedom. No more life abuse through not allowing myself to purify myself from all self dishonest shitnwithin me that has been the causenof all the abuse that has taken place and substantianated within this world and the whole universe, through writing and the application of self forgiveness.

I amalgamate as the solution to my problem and solve it onstantly here.

Self Forgiveness:

I forgivemmyselfnthatnI have accepted and allowedmmyselfmto participate within self abuse throughmnotnallowing myself to purify myself from self abuse of all kind through writing.

I forgive myself that I have acceptedmand allowed myself to abuse and participate within the abuse of all life in the universe through not allowing myselfnto purifymmyself from all selfndishonesties as that which is the actual cause for the abuse that has manifested and substantinated within this world and the whole universe in fact and scripting myself to a being with the ability to co-exist in equality with all life in the universe, through writing.

I forgivemmyself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within the energetic experience of resistant when it is here instead of remaining here as breath and allow myself to write to through that writing assist and support myself in moving through the energeticly experienced resistances and so immediatly correct that pattern and build/enhance myself as the self directive principle.

I forgivemyself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that the energetic experience of resistance is stronger then me and that I can do nothing about it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I can do nothing about it when I experience the energy of/as resistance but watch and allow it to possess me and do wih me as it pleases.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to tske self responsibility and realize that I am not that little pathetic and weak as I see myself in comparrison with the energetic experience of/as resistance.

I forgive myself that I havenaccepted and allowed myself to compare myself with the energetic experience of/as resistance.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define and judge myself as being less then and weaker then the energetic experience of/as resistance.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, when experiencing resistance towards being self honest and applying self forgiveness, think, picture and revisit memories of past experiences of having done something that I see as more fun then doing self application and within thatgo deeperninto these thoughts and walk the pattern again which takes me into the next time-loop of the same point(s).

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the same patterns over and over again which lead me into the same fucking timeloops again instad of stoping these loops within time through self discipline and once and for all being and remaining self honest in self-testing moments.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as doomed to dwell and rit in the same fucking timeloops for all of eternety and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe ans define myself as being unable to stop the participation and activation of the same fucking timeloops.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify the activation of the same tineloops over and over again as necessary instead of realizing that I am just trying to justify why I am not willing to give up my self interest and stop and change full-out.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that I am actually deliberatly activating the same tineloops and points to walk again for me because I do nit want to change because I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that whenever I do nit get a point and fall into a tineloop then it is done deliberatly because of the abscence of self honesty because of the lack of self will and self discipline to ‘get through’ here, now, immediatly == simplicity – no requirment for unnecessary loops within time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and alliwed myself to define myself according to the energeticly experienced resistances.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, out of lack of self will ans self discipline application in a moment of self-test, deliberatly reinvoke a timeloop instad of applying self will and self discipline within self honesty and with the assistance of all self support tools like self forgiveness, writing and breating, allow and accept myself to move through the self test here and niw immwdiatly and get the point done and immediatly move onto the next point instead if vasting valuable tine within deliberatly invoked timeloops.

I firgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to succumb to an existence in self dishonesty.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to pull myself together and establish myself as self honesty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define other things outside of self forgivebess Nd self honesty as being mkre fun because I do not have to do actual self work and waste time stupidly.

I firgive myself that I have nkt accepted and allkwed myself to realize that I am desiring to waste time stupidly , like trough watching TV or spening it on thinkibg and picturing about my desires and wishes that I have because the more time I waste on stupid shit the less tine I have keft to face myself and work with/on myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to daily aim at wasting as much tine on stupid shit as possible so that I am left with almist no time anymore to face myself.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that I fear to face myself and work with/on myself because I fear what I might encounter within myself.

I forgive mysekf that I have accepted and alliwed myself to fear what I might ebcoubter within myself if I would allow and accept myself to face myself within self hobesty, writing and self firgiveness instead kf realizing that my hidibg from myself is just a tenporary stupid gane that I am playing because by all means I can’t fucking hide and/or escape from facing myself – in the end I will have to face myself so do it right here immediatly and let’s not waste valuable time because after all life us build on time and if I waste tine I waste life in fact and the time that I wastes stupidly I will never get back.

I forgi e myselfnthat I have accepted and allowed mSelf to play ganes with myself instead of devoting myself fully to myself as life as equality and oneness as what is best for all through self honesty, through being self honest and existing within and as self honesty.

I forgivemmyselfnthat I have accepted and allowed myself to lose all self trust that I had within myself because of the deliberate activations and participations of the tineloops thst I’ve been looping in over the ladt time.

I forgive myself thaz I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I am definibg self trust as sonethibg seoerate from myself that I have to achieve in some magic way.

I forgive myselfnthat I have accepted and alliwed myself to define self trust as being something that existsnoutside/seperate from myself instead of realizing that, as it is already refered to in the word ‘self trust’ – it is existing WITHIN SELF.

Within that I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I will never again be able to trust myself because of the incidents that took place over the last period of time.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that I am chaining myself to memories of the past of past failures and timeloops and within that not accepting and allowing myself to move and and chabge myself foundationaly.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto and judge myself over the memories as past moments of failure and timeloops instead of allowing myself to forgive myself unconditionally and within that allow and accept myself to change myself foundationally as a totallymnew beibg without any reference to the ‘old’ one in anyway whatsiever.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I cannot forgive myselfnfor the incidents that happebed that I instigated.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that it is me myself who is defining the incidants that happened as being un-self-forgivable instead of realizing that this is just an idea and fear of mine and the fear to forgive myself for it unconditionally because I fear to do it again.